Sacked...

Watching football all day on Sunday is enough to
drive a sane wife nuts. Don't get me wrong--
football can be exciting--with all those
'tight ends' running around...

I was a big 49er fan during the Joe Montana
days: Joe and Clark, Craig, Paris, Rice, and Lott
kept the excitement in high gear.
The Niners final game score often hit the stratosphere.
They inspired a big love for the game.

We now watch the Patriots, rooting for
Tom Brady--since Jen went to high school with Tom,
and shared a class or two.

Yes, there’s little movement coming from
the men during Sunday football. Maybe a grunt or two…
or an outburst in response to a stupid play.


After several hours of channel-flipping-between
games, the remote is barely juiced by the time
I want to use it to turn on Desperate Housewives.
Shoot! D.S. isn't on.

Instead, I sit plugged into my earphones and
portable dvd player, watching a couple of Laverne
and Shirley episodes.
A few outbursts of my own drew glances from the guys,
wondering what I was laughing at.

When football season comes to a screeching halt,
what are our men going to do on Sundays?
Rosie Greer took up needlepoint.
Hmmm…

Red Flag Sale...

I’m wary of some sale items that are priced
at 60% off or better, like electronics or kitchen appliances.
There’s got to be something wrong with it in the first place.
I bought a TV once that died 1 day after the warranty expired.
A big clue to that purchase should have been when the
salesperson took the TV's remote from a basket of remotes which
was kept on the floor.

I've returned a number of items that have had quality issues:
Clothing whose seams have not been sewn properly,
or the fabric has faded drastically;
toasters which have toasted one side and burned
the other side of the bread.
Tom says I'm probably on store hot lists by now!

Some infomercials say if you call in the next 10 minutes
you’ll receive a second set for free!
Is that because the first set only lasts for a week?
Maybe a month?
[I'm slightly intrigued by the shaver blade sharpener].

We bought a car several years ago through a car club,
saving a good chunk of cash.
It was factory delivered to the local dealership,
and we picked it up.
It was also the El Nino season in California.
Driving home I rolled up the windows, or thought I did.
The windows wouldn't work, so I went back to the dealer.
That was the beginning of a long list of malfunctions.
The only lemons I like are in my iced tea or in lemon meringue pie.

All Sales Final is another catch phrase.
That’s supposed to mean something?
Suppose I buy a product and it bites the dust within 30 days
of purchasing? What, I can’t return it?

I bought an All Sales Final Southwest style love seat
years ago which was significantly reduced.
The love seat was delivered the same day and
looked very nice.
After a few minutes of sitting on the love seat, things started
hopping around--from the sofa to me--bite, itch...hop, hop.
I’d bought my own flea circus.

I complained about this problem but the salesperson said,
"All sales are final, lady."
Humphh...

I stay clear of most promotional gimmicks…
you can’t get something for nothing...
or can you…?