"Muteny"

Looking for some greasy fries and McNuggets!
[Paul's pic}




Commercials--you either hate them or
love them. I’ve yet to see mama bear
and her cubs in the woods with a roll of
toilet paper. We’ve had a bear, but he
was after our bird feeder. Personally, I’m
a fan of White Cloud 3-Ply Ultra.

When it comes to geckos, the only ones
I’ve seen are sunbathing on the lanai,
pumping their tiny muscles:
Up, down, up, down…


Car commercials really drive me nuts, with
their high-octane spokespersons stoked on
too many Red Bulls or Starbucks, screaming
the month end sales pitches.
I’ve never used the Mute button so much…

When it comes to nutrition bars, I’ve never
been transported to or even thought of a
mountain vista while eating one.
If you look closely, most of the nutrition
bars are loaded with too much sugar and carbs.
I’d probably bike right off the mountain after eating one!
I still grab carrot sticks for a snack.

I remember the shampoo ad with a
gorgeous gal with lustrous locks who said,
“Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.”
Don’t worry…never did, never will.
I didn't like the shampoo which seemed
to make my hair oily after a few days.

Beauty ads with young women are another
gripe of mine. I’ve yet to see anyone past
40 in the skin firming ads.
If you notice the before and after pictures,
the lighting is always different, too.

The befores use a lighting position which
accentuates the wrinkles and shadows.
The after shots are always lighter because
of fill lighting eliminating the before look.

I get a big kick from the automatic ab device ad.
Apparently you don't have to exert needlessly
to achieve a 6-pack.
The guys and gals are always young in those ads,
and it did take months of working out to look
that way. If the ab device can do housework too,
I'll order one!


Someday, maybe I’ll see an ad for a TV which
automatically eliminates commercials.
Until then…mute, mute, mute!

What's On Tonight?

We’ve had digital cable for a few months now.
There must be 200 channels, so why is it so
hard to find something to watch?

Some really good movies are televised
overnight and during the early morning hours.
Tom always says "Why can’t they show this
program in the evening?"
And how many times is The Shawshank Redemption
and Arachnophobia going to be shown?

Tom likes The Military Channel when military
aircraft is profiled. Otherwise, it seems like
a recycled History Channel.

Just as we get hooked on a newly discovered
series, Destination Truth, the series is
running the season finale .
We’re watching the older D.S. shows On Demand;
makes one think about the eyes caught glowing
yellow-red in our woods one night…

Ghost Hunters is creepy fun, especially when
there's actually something peculiar and eerie caught
on film or audio. The TAPS team would have
had a field day in our California home…

Spooks and hairy creatures aside,
Channel surfing through the Guide is what we all do.
It doesn’t take Paul long to settle on UFC.
We’ve gone from seeing Anthony Zimmern
drinking goat’s blood with Masai, to trailing blood
on Randy Couture.
I keep a good Chocoholic mystery by Jo Anna Carl
on my lap.

I’ve been watching some classic and very funny
Netflix Laverne and Shirley; also the quirky series,
Arrested Development and Seinfeld on Jetflicks.com
on my phone.
Give me a good laugh, any time…

Ben Casey, Where Are You?

Medical dramas give a false impression of doctors.
I’ve never had a doctor that even closely
resembled the handsome hunks in the TV series.

Jen worked in a local hospital where there
was one particular doctor that every female
office worker swooned over, keeping his
picture planted on their desks.
His profile was used in the hospital’s
advertising. That man was born under a blanket
of lucky stars, and then some…

My doctor resembles a cross between Don Knotts
and Boris Karloff. Just once, I wish the doctor
would match up with the cute name my fingers
had so carefully picked out in the Yellow Pages.

My present doctor also reminds me of an old
Italian nun I had in the eighth grade.
When I first saw Sr. Christine, I was scared.
She had dark searing eyes with a stone-like face.

Yes, just once let me pick out a doctor that
will curl the edges of my paper gown--and my toes--
and whose needle won’t look like a harpoon…