After 38 years of marriage I've learned
a few things, particularly ways not to make
a husband gag:
* Don't stuff yourself into a bikini meant for Twiggy.
* Don't pierce anything other than your ear lobes--
and a nice juicy steak!
* Don't wear mini-skirts if you're not a 'mini'.
* Don't wear ankle bracelets that look as though
you're under house arrest.
* Don't wear midriff shirts that float over
The Island of Flab.
* If your 'skin' doesn't 'fit' you like it did
when you were first married, ban yourself
from those drive-thrus!
* Avoid or don't over do Botox-ing and facelifting--
he didn't marry a manikin.
* Too much sun equals skin like a dromedary--
only camels belong outside that much.
* Keep a sense of humor--it can throw your
husband off-balance when he wants to start complaining...
* Don't 'show' too much--'cracks' are for sidewalks!
*Treat yourself and life like a fine wine--
let it age naturally.
To my husband, Tom: Happy Anniversary,
with many more to come.
I'll love you "'til the 12th of Never..."
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