I’ve been analyzing toilets lately.
Sounds weird, I know.
Walmart has quick, super-zap flushers.
Borders have semi-quick, shred-the-paper flushers.
Books-A-Million [BAM] has the best, so far.
Our master bathroom toilet had a fitting
replaced by Steve The Plumber months ago.
Since then, the fill up is noisy and takes
longer than it takes to launch the Space Shuttle.
I hate the obvious--just give me a
discrete, quiet toilet. I bet the TV Caveman
could’ve fixed it--he’s a sensitive type,
instead of Steve, who reminded me of a mob boss.
I never liked the faucet he replaced in
the kitchen: A single, nondescript Delta--
no zip, doesn’t extend long enough.
Dishes are always banging the side of the sink.
I like a little style with function, after all.
So, back to the ambiance of the toilet.
I’m putting my request in for a pot
with a dynamic personality.
Dark eyes, dark hair--
My mind wanders…heh-heh.
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