Monday, December 14, 2009

Toilet Bowl Blues


I’ve been analyzing toilets lately.
Sounds weird, I know.
Walmart has quick, super-zap flushers.
Borders have semi-quick, shred-the-paper flushers.
Books-A-Million [BAM] has the best, so far.

Our master bathroom toilet had a fitting
replaced by Steve The Plumber months ago.
Since then, the fill up is noisy and takes
longer than it takes to launch the Space Shuttle.

I hate the obvious--just give me a
discrete, quiet toilet. I bet the TV Caveman
could’ve fixed it--he’s a sensitive type,
instead of Steve, who reminded me of a mob boss.

I never liked the faucet he replaced in
the kitchen: A single, nondescript Delta--
no zip, doesn’t extend long enough.
Dishes are always banging the side of the sink.
I like a little style with function, after all.

So, back to the ambiance of the toilet.
I’m putting my request in for a pot
with a dynamic personality.
Dark eyes, dark hair--
My mind wanders…heh-heh.

2 comments:

Daisy Soap Girl said...

When away from home, we always look for the nearest Barnes & Noble. Once you go into one of those stalls, you close the world out and have complete privacy. No one can even see your feet. The joy of it all. LOL

GutsyWriter said...

Very funny post. I liked the bathrooms at Fort Myers airport. Also in Chicago airport, that was the first time I saw the revolving toilet paper on the seat. Never seen that before, not in California yet. Good luck with the potty.