It’s that time of year when grown men start climbing up ladders propped against their homes, strands of twisted Christmas lights looped around their necks.
I’m sure some wives would love to tighten a few of those light ropes just a bit… It’s a heated competition in the neighborhood to see which home can out-light the other.
One year, we had an idiot family living directly across the street--always in trouble with the law. Their last hurrah before moving away was to string as many lights as humanly possible over the roof of the house, much like Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation.
The woman’s boyfriend--we called him Joy-Boy, climbed over the roof, draping and stapling thousands of lights across the entire roof. J.B. started stringing at noon and his Gold’s Gym body didn’t finish to well after 1 a.m.
Our bedroom was suddenly lit up like a fireworks factory had exploded. I’m sure the Space Shuttle astronauts could have spotted their home.
It’s amazing how far some of the neighbors go to decorate. My neighbor and friend, Jimmie, a short and portly Italian, must have bought every Christmas decoration sold by Walmart. Every part of his home has something.
The blow up figures are the funniest since many of them semi deflate, so that half of the character’s body is upright with the top half hanging over to the ground. Probably how a lot of people will feel after the holidays…
So, the first section of our street has inflated Nativity scenes, inflated Frosty’s, golden reindeer, and Santa sleighs, along with luminarias bordering the driveways. Quite a pretty spectacle.
From my home a few houses up, it’s dark--no Grinches here, just people who realize ya gotta unstaple, un-tangle, deflate, climb around like a roof rat, and eventually figure out how everything goes back in the boxes the stuff was originally in. Ha!It's a feat that makes the sane go nuts. Good luck all, and to all a good night!