Pardon me, Sir, But Your....

Excuse me, but your 'apostrophe' is showing.
Oops! How do you confront someone who glaringly, has
something undone--like a crucial button or zipper--
or has a pair of windows-to-the-world shorts on?

Recently I was walking into my favorite bookstore
café in Naples and was suddenly confronted by an
unfortunate display of manly 'goods'…who doesn’t like
hanging out in a cozy café…?

Now, I have nothing against the 'boys' and their
sidekick. They’re perfectly fine if they’re well
behaved--but they have their place--and should
stay there, not wandering around for some fresh air…

If Chief Spread-Eagle had been Fabio or Denzel
I wouldn’t have minded too much--for a little while.
Anyway, the café was beginning to buzz a bit as a couple
more people walked in and took notice of the 'sideshow'.

I suggested to my two bookstore friends, that one of
them should nudge the hulking man awake, and tell
him to close his gap.
Nothing doing. Big chickens..

By now, the female employees were very aware
of the predicament, but were hesitant to approach,
the man, hoping that he might wake up soon.

The sleeping exhibitionist finally was aroused from
his nap, after one of my friends tossed a napkin ball
at the man’s chest, hoping to wake him.

He looked over at my friends, and my friend
pointed down past the man's equator…
After a few adjustments, the spectacle was over.
He hasn’t been seen since…

Hell On Two Feet...

I was in my favorite bookstore café
Saturday enjoying a pleasant conversation
with a friend who shares my interest in photography.

All of a sudden, from my friend’s row
of seats, a very nasty man stood up
and told us both to "Shut up! I'm trying to read."
Judging from his speech, he must have just
been transported from way up north or
maybe an alien planet. He was so rude.

I told him to lighten up--the café is a social
atmosphere with some degree of noise:
Music playing, ice machines cranked up and
children playing about...that if he wanted
it quiet he should go to the library or to church.

He used some profanity and threw out
a few goddammits whereupon I explicitly
told him not to take God’s name in vain.
He said, "What God ?"and walked off fuming,
as I told him he should go to Rosh Hashanah
services, instead.

Naples is a relaxed, happy and laid back coastal
town where nearly everyone wears a smile.
So if any uptight grumpies out there are planning
to visit, leave the attitude at home, grab a
swimsuit and try not to swim with the sharks…
heh-heh.

Where, Oh Where?

When we decided to move from Cal, tossing out
or donating stuff was the first thing we did.
I was so happy at the prospect of selling the house,
I started 6 months early with boxing things up.
I had a lot of books on writing and photography.
I sold or donated 1/3 of the books; other items got Ebayed.

On moving day, we had a driveway sale of all that
was left--everything went.
Our FL home is large--just enough room for more stuff,
which I’m good at accumulating.
I’ve added to my reference collection, thanks to Amazon
used books and Border bookstore rewards coupons.

I rearrange drawers, cabinets and miscellaneous items
that I think I need to save.
Some things are hard to throw away-- seemingly indispensable.
Tom says if I haven't used it in 6 months, throw it out...
Food for thought...

I’m running out of space again.
My DVD collection is double-stacked.
It's all Borders and Books-A-Million's fault for having
such good sales.

In 7 years I've created a monster...
I went online this morning checking out Pier 1 Imports
and World Market for bookcases and a media unit--
just large enough to store what I have.

Where would I put the furniture pieces?
I might need to Craigslist or donate a couple of things
to make more room.

Jen just called.
She's downsizing her storage unit--
"Mom, can I store some of the furniture in the house?"
She lists a media center, chest of drawers, queen bed
and headboard, plus a dining set.

The house is starting to grown...

Rock On..!

Everything is done on the fly, it seems.

Some people shave and eat while driving.

Bluetoothed drivers, whose laptops are perched

on the console, are hitting the roads.

It's a get it done world.

What did primitive man do?

Yorg had real problems.

Imagine trying to start a fire.

No matches for him.

Sticks and stones were rubbed together for heaven

knows how long, before Yorg blew his top.

His nagging wife, Yakk, banished him to the

wild more than once when he had his fits,

to hunt for some horned creature.

What about communication?

Yorg had a leather pouch filled with stones.

If he wanted to call up a fellow caveman, he'd sling

a few stones, whacking his friend upside the head.

Travel was tough, too.

Poor Yorg spent hours bashing and honing the edges

of a boulder until it would roll.

That eventually became a useful device, especially when he

finally figured out how to get a donut hole in the center.

And most enjoyable, too--when he put Yakk

in the middle and sent her rolling along ...