Under The Rug...

The most excitement that happens to me during
the day is an occasional sneeze.
My face flushes a rosy glow and my eyes shimmer.
I can't attribute the effects to anything but
housecleaning--dust bunnies under the bed,
in closets, reproducing like rabbits!

My husband helps a lot around the house.
I'm the troubleshooter, the technical fixer-upper.
Whenever something goes wrong, or malfunctions,
it's Nan to the rescue.
Nothing like being blonde, smart and well trained.
Just toss me a box of truffles...

Other than typical work around the house, I do get
out of the house.
My idea of a good time is doing lunges and squats
in the pool...darn exciting during a thunderstorm!

I celebrated a birthday recently.
I've noticed the weeks go by so quickly, birthdays seem
to come about every 6 months.
Tom says I look good for my age.
Hmmm...in alligator years?
That'd make me 124--I do look good for my age!

I hear distant rumbles of thunder.
Clouds are boiling up.
Time for a pool break...

Keep Your Lid On...

How would we ever get along without the conveniences we have today?
I just bought a pressure cooker, on the advice of my brother, Mike.
He asked me if I'd used it yet.

I'm afraid of it.
I remember the heavyweight iron pressure cooker mom had.
It was scary...
It whistled like an air raid siren, and snorted.
One day, it erupted, blowing its pressure valve clear across the room.

Yes, I bought one, and there it sits on the counter,
'Black Bart',dominant and foreboding, waiting for me
to make the first move.
I stare at it—it's like the Showdown at the OK Corral.

With a glare that would melt an iceberg, I grab the handle.
“I am woman, hear my Roar,” I say.
I've got a roast to cook...

Sock It To Me...

It's happened again!
Anyone who does the laundry knows what I'm talking about—the case of the disappearing socks!
Where do they go? Are they flushed through to China?
Do they wind up in a water treatment facility, where the 'sock-keeper' makes them into Sock Monkeys?
Have they made their way to an Osprey's nest?

I thought I had the problem whipped after I put them into a zippered lingerie bag.
After the wash, I took the bag out of the washing machine—which, in some mysterious fashion, had become unzipped!
I began pairing up the socks.

Two were missing—the new ones, of course.
The holey-toe ones were there... am I not surprised?
What did the errant socks do—elope to Sockville?
I can see the two mismatched socks now,
one comfortably cuffed within the other--
sipping Socktinis.

I've reached the end of my sock— I mean, rope...