Don't Box Me In...!

One corner of the computer room
is boxed in--with a slowly dwindling stack of
cardboard boxes and tubes of different lengths.

The smell of fresh cardboard still lingers
a bit in the room--I prefer the smell of
freshly baked walnut brownies…

Ebay has hooked Jen and Paul--sort of
a seasonal virus that hits when the new
master fishing catalogs begin stuffing the mailbox.

Questions start spinning my way: ‘“Would you
have a box to fit the fly reel?” ‘
Or, ’ “would you have a PVC tube that
would be long enough for a 6.5’ rod? “ ’
My print tubes are only 2 feet long…

How about selling a book, or a pair of earrings?
With two fishing nuts, tackle gets bought,
used a couple of years, then sold to make
room for the newer, flashier and more technical
equipment. Paul now has Abel reels with fish
scale motifs painted on them…

Wouldn’t it be easier to get a pet hamster or
some mice? No hassles, they take up little room,
don’t have to be hosed off, and they’re pretty crafty--
when they want to run off, they don’t require postage--
they can just pop the cage door open…

Encore

The beach is tranquil.
The gentle lapping of the waves curling up along the
shoreline, the sea birds chasing the shiny minnows,
elevates me to a calm place in my thoughts.

The soft breezes float salty sea air while I walk
on the damp sand. Shells tumble and swirl onto the shore,
gathering up into mounds, waiting for seeking fingers.
Criss-crossed footprints run along the path I'm taking.
Some are large, others are tiny.
How many of those are first time visitors to this beach...
how many will be coming back?
I don't see some of the older regulars any more...

The sea is ever changing as the day lengthens
into early evening.
The glistening blue water of the Gulf deepens
with fringes of violet and gold, reflecting
the setting sun, today's finale.
As I leave the beach I know new treasures
await tomorrow's encore.

Ba Da Da Dum...

An older gentleman whom I know, Chuck,
told me recently there’s no way that he’ll step
into the Gulf waters for a swim.
His wife loves the water, but not Chuck.
He fears that he may run into Jaws.

In the Gulf, if you swim closer to the shoreline
in clear water then an encounter is somewhat unlikely.
There was a man who was attacked by a shark while
swimming 100 yards out.
Good grief!
Black tip, bull head, and nurse sharks are in the
Gulf waters.
Common sense is the key, here.

One of our first summers in Naples, Jen and I
were swimming a few yards offshore.
We suddenly heard a young boy shouting and crying
that something was biting him.
Sure enough, there were 1” sized jellies floating
near him on the surface and a few had stung him
on the legs and arms.
The jellies looked like wads of spit on the
water's surface.
A suntan product called SafeSea can protect you
from jellies which are found in Florida waters
certain times of the year.
That was the first time I’d seen jellies.

I’ve been knee deep in the water and I’ve
seen pods of 50 or more stingrays swimming
up the gulf, close to the water’s edge.
While most people ran out of the water back
to the beach, I stood watching the rays pass by,
flapping through and around my legs.
It was like getting slapped with rubber tires.

Another time, some people started hollering out to
swimmers to get out of the water!
I know my fins, and knew that what they thought were
sharks were dolphins swimming along the shoreline.
If I were in California or Australia I’d be more
afraid of what might be lurking in the water.

At Bahia Honda in the Florida Keys, Paul, Jen
and I were walking through the shallow waters,
stepping lightly, avoiding walking over the coral reefs.
Paul felt something batting against his leg.
Looking down he saw a fish that looked mad.
The little fighter was trying to push Paul away from his reef.
No way did the fish want us around!

At Hanauma Bay, on Oahu, Jen and I were snorkeling.
I was quickly bashed against my silicone mask, pain
shooting through my face.
My nose was slightly fractured and I had a black eye.
The offending source of the attack was a Japanese man
who had whacked me while he was snorkeling next to me.

He started laughing when he looked at me.
He and his companion were pointing at me, calling me
“Fishy Face”…
Funny…Benihahaha…
I rose out of the water.
I wanted to snap his skimpy weiner suit back, sending him
flying across the Pacific Ocean.
People are dangerous, too!

If you want to play it safe I suggest grabbing your rubber ducky and head for the bathtub…

Boiling Points...

It’s been extremely hot and humid lately.

We’re in Stuart, Florida for Sunday-Monday.

It feels like we’ve been transported to Hell,

it’s so uncomfortable.

I wish I could shed my skin.

Paul ‘s fly fishing this Monday morning, at Bathtub Beach

on Hutchinson Island.

It’s 9a.m. and the temp is already 87 degrees.

Tom and I are watching the manatees swim by, while Paul’s

hooking up on snook and tarpon.

The bath house is under renovation, otherwise we’d be swimming.

After an hour or so of being deep-fried, we leave Paul

and we head to the historic downtown waterfront area

on the St. Lucie River.

Jen had told me about the cute shops and galleries.

The breeze is blowing, cooling our damp skin.

Tom is an outdoor, no shop kind of guy.

He wants to be in the High Sierras, smelling clean and cool

mountain air and swimming in June Lake.

Tom has Nordic-Germanic blood.

He would’ve been a great Mountain Man, like Jedediah Smith.

Tom and his dad used to swim in the cold, San Francisco Bay.

Florida is the polar opposite.

Water temps hover at 90+degrees in the summer.

By noon, the air temp has reached 95.

The heat index is 102.

We look like we’ve just come out of the drink, our clothes

are hanging in damp folds.

We dart in and out of the frigid stores.

Ahhhh…

The people in Stuart are sweet as punch and I sure

could use a rum punch or mojito about now, but alcohol

makes me feel warmer.

After another hour of hot-footing the town and eating lunch,

we’ve plunked ourselves in an air-conditioned library.

Tom reads Barron’s and I catch up on Dave Barry books.

We finally pick up a very hot and tired Paul, and begin
heading home.
We’re trying to find a gas station with cheap gas.
Sometimes I feel like we’re the Griswold’s on vacation.

We blunder into the first station, promising 4 cents

back with cash.

Ha-- only if you pay at the pump, which Tom doesn’t.

Just a block away we see gas 8 cents cheaper.
That makes Tom even hotter under the collar.

We’ve made headway onto the 95, until…

a multiple car pileup has stopped us.
Of course, the two left lanes of traffic are merging over

to our lane. We’re not going anywhere.

We’re traveling at worm speed…

After 20 minutes and several demolished cars
and suv's later, we’re driving non-stop.

Finally, we’re on Alligator Alley.

Naples is a good hour and forty minutes away.

Meanwhile I’m watching cruising alligators in the canals.
I've counted 12 already.

There’s something comforting when you finally make it home…

the driveway never looked so good.　 　

By The Sea, By The Sea...

New visitors to Florida often forget or
don't realize about the unkindly welcome that may
be waiting for them as they dash out into
the sparkling blue waters...stingrays.

Stingrays are prevalent during the months of May-Oct.
Swimmers are reminded to do the “Stingray Shuffle”
when entering the water. The shuffling feet create a
disturbance that causes stingrays to move away.
If a sting does occur, a hot pack treatment is recommended.

A few summers ago, my family and I went to
Marco Island's Tigertail Beach.
It's a beautiful, long, narrow stretch of sand.
One must cross a wide passage of water to get to
Tigertail from the mainland--which is best
accomplished during low tide.
Once across, your feet sink into warm talcum powder sand.
Tigertail is inhabited by shorebirds of all varieties.
It's a beachcomber's and photographer's delight.

Once we crossed over to Tigertail we spent no more
than 20 minutes before threatening dark clouds began
developing; lightning was suddenly flashing all around the island.
Some fishermen dove into the beach foliage, trying
to hide.

Grabbing our gear, we walked quickly across
the waterway, then ran as the lightning was
nearly overhead.
I suddenly screamed.
My bare foot had grazed across the fork of a stingray,
slicing the length of my foot.
We finally made it to a service hut on the beach,
just in time, before the weathervane atop
the hut was hit twice by lightning.

This adventure was not forgotten.
The need to plan for an outdoor outing is necessary,
especially during Florida's summer months.

And don't forget The Stingray Shuffle!

**Photo courtesy of Capt.Paul

Swimming Upstream...

Living well into your 90's is not impossible--unless you're
an unlucky skydiver, big game hunter, or bungee jumper.
A good mental attitude helps, along with good health
and eating habits.

I'm humorous, I eat smart--most of the time.
So, I've got this living thing licked so far.
It's amazing to me that the package of cheese in my
refrigerator may very well outlive us all...

Most everything is processed.
That's why food lasts so darn long.
I try my best to stay away from processed foods.
My hair's not even processed.

I've heard a crab can grow back a leg,
if he's so unfortunate as to lose it--in crabby tug-of-war.
Lucky him, or her!
Fish never seem to age.
Ever see a fish with wrinkles?
They can live eons.
Must be all the fish oil they carry around
with them in fanny packs!

I take fish oil, by eating fish, and taking capsules.
It's supposed to be great for your skin, and increase flexibility.
I'm still waiting...

Why I Love Florida...

*Wearing shorts and sandals most of the year
*When you retire, you're already here!
*Afraid of heights? Only real elevations are the high-rises along the beaches
*Swaying palm trees
*Shells
*Sanibel Island-Captiva
*O-D on Key Lime Pie
*Geckos
*Alligators
*Manatees
*Dolphins
*Iguanas
*Perfect umbrella drinks
*Florida Keys
*Jimmy Buffett
*Margaritaville
*Celebrity-watching
*Hurricane watching
*Fishing
*White sandy beaches
*Shorebirds
*Sparkling blue waters
*International cuisine
*Big Cypress National Preserve/The Everglades
*Swamp Buggy Races
*Mullet Festivals
*Pirate-themed festivals
*Art festivals
*Bo Sox spring training site-Ft. Myers
*Florida authors,Dave Barry, Tim Dorsey, Carl Hiassen, Randy Wayne White
*Haunted Places: Tampa Theater and Don CeSar Hotel