This Is Florida, Right?

Florida’s unseasonably cold weather
is causing pest problems for some people.
Ants are taking the high road into warmer
confines, sneaking their spindly legs under
and through the smallest cracks and openings,
making themselves at home in kitchens and baths.

Lucky for us--and them--we haven’t seen
the little trespassers. I double-dosed the house
perimeter with “Don’t You Dare, Bug Spray”…
don’t try to find it in the stores--if you do,
call the head doc, quick…!

I imagine the underground squadrons are
re-grouping for a Spring and Summer assault
in our yard. I’m ready for you buggers…

Thankfully, the icy cold has killed off some
of the mosquitoes and no-see-ums which
plague us through most of the year.
Short-lived, I’m sure, since we’ll no doubt
have the munchers back in full nosh soon…

Rule of thumb and leg: Cover up, particularly
during the warm months! My son, Paul is
sporting bite “tattoos” on his ankles and
legs from no-see-ums.

Our resident duck, Cruiser has been squirreling
herself in pine needle mulch to keep warm.
She usually waddles into the yard with grass
and mulch hanging from her face and beak.
What a sight…

Swatting the bugs aside, the Gulf is 52
unwelcoming degrees, sending pods of
manatees to warmer Gulf waters surrounding
the electric utility plants.

Visitors are disappointed with the weather
and lack of swimming, but are enjoying the
frolicking, friendly animals. A popular
viewing spot is Manatee Park in Estero.

Watch out--it's raining iguanas!
They’re so cold that their frozen bodies go
into a hibernation state, causing them to plop
to the ground. The kamikaze iguanas appear to
be dead, and are often being removed by
individuals who suddenly discover the creatures
springing back to life in their vehicles.

Summer can't come soon enough for me.
My coffee pot awaits, the aroma drifting
under my sniffly nose. I’m still in my
flannel pj's, on morning watch for ol’ mulch face…

Its A Tropical Heatwave...

It’s been hotter than Death Valley on a “cool” day.
If I were a camel, my humps would have
dried up by now.

Last night, I heard some peculiar noises
emanating from my husband, Tom, sitting
in the living room adjacent to the foyer.
He was watching the weather on Fox 4.
Sh-- came out as a growling cuss word.
“I can’t believe this damn weather…”

Tom Johnston said it was going to be another
record heat day for Friday.
The heat index is supposed to reach 105.
Thursday the temp reached 98 degrees with as
much humidity.

I flipped through the growing number of cable
channels. I don’t know where any of my
favorite channels are since Comcast decided to
play the game, Find Me, rearranging and
throwing some channels into the 700’s.

I finally hit on a program with delightful,
scampering penguins, twittering along like
old men in tight underwear.

They were having a great time, flopping
one-by-one off the ice shelf into the
freezing blue water.
Ahhh…

The heat isn’t that bothersome to me.
Tom, on the other hand, has Nordic blood.
He used to swim in the San Francisco Bay,
off Coyote Point and Aquatic Park, when we
lived on the Peninsula years ago.

Tom would have been a great explorer or
mountain man. He’s very outdoor oriented--
has a sense of adventure, but is stiffled by
Florida’s climate.
He takes a morning walk and swim at the beach,
while I usually get dropped off at Books-A-Million.

It’s great here in the winter when the rest of the
country is unfortunately in a deep freeze.
Beautiful, cloudless days: dry, in the 70’s, low 80’s.

We stepped outside this morning at 7:00--
it already feels in the low 80’s.
Last night about 11:00,the temp was 87.
At bedtime, I felt like Scheherazade:
Shedding the seven veils to keep cool...

Raindrops Keep Fallin'...

Florida reached the peak of hurricane season
on Thursday. Thankfully, hurricane predictions
have been way off this summer--not to say it
still couldn't be a possibility. Our worst hurricanes
have occurred in mid September-October.

Every summer, Tom cringes at the thought
of another hurricane season when the predictions
are revealed by the National Hurricane Center.

He says that I can’t bury my head in the sand about
the possibility of still getting one this season.
I don’t think about it so much.
What’s scarier are the heavy downpours we get
sometimes, like yesterday.

Naples got 2” of rain and the thunderstorms were
shattering. I’d met up with a gal friend for a late lunch
and became stranded at her place.
Electricity flickered for hours until 9:00 p.m.
when the storm let up a bit.
By the time I got home safely, I’d passed
by three severe accidents.

The back yard is a pond, teeming with tadpoles.
The woods are noisy with cicadas and frogs.
Cruiser is wading this morning, enjoying her morning feast.

BZZZZZ...

Killing insects has been on my mind lately.
The unseasonably early rains teamed with very
hot days has sent the bug population into hyperdrive.

Yesterday, Tom went to the local State Park
for a jog along the beach.
No sooner had he returned to use the outdoor shower,
when swarms of mosquitoes and black flies began
coating his arms and legs.

Within the State Park system the use of any
form of insect control is forbidden.
The Park is a natural habitat for turtles,
lizards, snakes, racoons, and birds.
We've learned to co-exist with the bothersome insects,
however hard that might be.

When we got home, I think most of the 'airborne fleet'
had hitched a ride back home with us.
They began zooming and buzzing about the car
once the AC was turned off.
Well, I had some news for them!
Listen here, you're on My turf, now, I thought
as I grabbed the can of bug spray.

How crazy it must have looked as I lunged and dodged,
taking aim, spraying, then retreating from the fumes.
All the flying pests, including their relatives,
slowly dropped away.

I know squadrons more will be on the horizon,
waiting to infiltrate our home.
But, beware--I'm armed...

By The Sea, By The Sea...

New visitors to Florida often forget or
don't realize about the unkindly welcome that may
be waiting for them as they dash out into
the sparkling blue waters...stingrays.

Stingrays are prevalent during the months of May-Oct.
Swimmers are reminded to do the “Stingray Shuffle”
when entering the water. The shuffling feet create a
disturbance that causes stingrays to move away.
If a sting does occur, a hot pack treatment is recommended.

A few summers ago, my family and I went to
Marco Island's Tigertail Beach.
It's a beautiful, long, narrow stretch of sand.
One must cross a wide passage of water to get to
Tigertail from the mainland--which is best
accomplished during low tide.
Once across, your feet sink into warm talcum powder sand.
Tigertail is inhabited by shorebirds of all varieties.
It's a beachcomber's and photographer's delight.

Once we crossed over to Tigertail we spent no more
than 20 minutes before threatening dark clouds began
developing; lightning was suddenly flashing all around the island.
Some fishermen dove into the beach foliage, trying
to hide.

Grabbing our gear, we walked quickly across
the waterway, then ran as the lightning was
nearly overhead.
I suddenly screamed.
My bare foot had grazed across the fork of a stingray,
slicing the length of my foot.
We finally made it to a service hut on the beach,
just in time, before the weathervane atop
the hut was hit twice by lightning.

This adventure was not forgotten.
The need to plan for an outdoor outing is necessary,
especially during Florida's summer months.

And don't forget The Stingray Shuffle!

**Photo courtesy of Capt.Paul

It's a Tropical Heatwave...

Floridians, myself included, are spoiled.
When the temperatures dip below 75, hoards of people
run to the stores to buy jackets and sweat shirts and sweat pants.
You would think a blizzard was coming!

For a few days last winter, it was downright chilly--in the low 50's and 60's.
My teeth were chattering while visitors from up north
and the midwest wore walking shorts, tank tops and sandals.
It was a heatwave to them!

Before moving to Florida, we sold many of our cold weather clothes
on Ebay and in garage sales.
No one needs a jacket in Florida--right?
Ha...