With cell in hand, I enter the number. Press 1 for English. There’s something wrong with that.
The voice lists the menu options: longer than Pinocchio’s nose. I try to remember what options 2,3, and 4 were. I’m sorry, but all customer service representatives are busy. The average wait time is 8 minutes.Please hold... Hmmmm.
Let’s see…in 8 minutes, I can pour another cup of tea, polish my nails, knock down spider-sack webs from the pool enclosure, or go online to order Poisonous Snake insurance. No, not really, though it’s not a bad idea…
Hanging up after 7.5 minutes of listening to bellowing recorded music that rivaled the mating call of a wild yak, I decided that I just saved myself $15.00.
Making the rounds around the pool deck to my padded chaise lounge, I suddenly feel something crawling along my arm.
Looking down, I see a medium-sized black spider, dangling from a web, orbs glaring at me, its spindly legs dancing along my arm. Yikes! I whack it off with a paperback book, then step on it.
Maybe I should opt for poisonous spider insurance…