Monday, October 19, 2009

The Wise-Acre Lounge...

There are a lot of good intentions about health
and other issues that sometimes get sidelined,
or slightly altered from concept to delivery.

For instance:

1- To maintain good health, one should have
plenty of fruits and veggies every day.
Let’s see, I ate part of a water-logged avocado,
some grapes that tasted like a dose of medicine,
and a banana I could have used for a door-stop.

2- Everyone is supposed to drink 8 glasses
of water a day.
Yeah, if you hook up a hose to your waistband,
and put the toilet in the living room…

3- Get 8 hours of sleep every night.
Yeah, sure, after having 8 glasses of water that day…

4- Exercise every day.
My hosiery runs more than I do…
I’ve bought exercise equipment that eventually
just sat unused-- the pieces robotically
fused together into patio furniture.

5- I’ve bought several Chicken Soup For The Soul books.
How about Chocolate Truffles for the Chocolate Deprived?

6- I thought I’d try a veggie burger--it was great
after I loaded it with water-logged avocado, stringy
onion fries, and a spongy tomato.

7 -I’d love to have a guava jelly donut from
Whole Foods--that’s fruit, right?

8- I bought a pair of workout shoes.
I wore them to the fitness room twice-
they didn’t work out that great.

9- I also bought some Dri-Fit workout clothes,
made in the Arab Emirates.
Who’d they test them on, some dried up dromedaries?

10- Abiding by a meatless diet is a good idea…
Until I get the Caveman instinct to swing
a club at a juicy side of beef…

11- Uno Chicago Grill has a new snack menu
to die for: The Short Rib Slider, make that 2,
was delicious.
I followed it up with a huge salad when I got home.

12- I’ve come to the conclusion to kick it
up a notch, do more of the good stuff.
After all, I’m getting older.
When my next birthday rolls around, I’ll take it
as a grain of proverbial salt; stonewall it,
or rim my Mango Margarita glass…

1 comment:

Daisy Soap Girl said...

Very funny. I didn't know that Whole Foods had guava donuts?!! Sign me up real quick!! You're right about those workout shoes. I can testify that they don't workout. But I keep trying, hopefully they will one day.