Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Twilight Zone...

What if homes were really smart homes?
Take the kitchen:
wouldn’t it be novel if the
refrigerator refused to open
because a sensor
knew that you wanted to grab
disgustingly sweet and caloric, like a wedge
strawberry cheesecake, or triple fudge ice cream?

Nancy, you may only have celery or carrot sticks instead.
That’s all I’d need--a computer-run appliance
with a mouth that talks back to me.

I like keeping things in my life simple and uncomplicated.

I know two people who still haven’t
programmed their VCR.
Most everything is digitized now, especially television.

Digital cable provides hundreds of channels
your fingertips, if you can remember which
among a half dozen operates the channels!

I love it when the cable box suddenly blanks out,
leaving the TV screen with a no signal message.
I’m not waiting in traffic, I just want my cable back!
So I call my service provider.
She's very helpful, slowly describing the steps
rebooting the box.

The TV still isn’t working.

Somehow the TV got off channel 3.
The agent is telling me to change the channel.

The remote’s not working.

I go through re-programming the remote
for the TV
[which I’ve poached from Jen
since she’s moved].

I’ve tried 7 codes and none of them work.

Wait…uh…oh…just a sec I mutter to the agent.
The radar was blocked by the TV Guide I'd
put down in
front of the set.

I’m not sure if I’d get along that well
in a
smart home. I don’t want anything that
claims to be smarter than me.
As for dessert, I'm heading for the last piece of key lime pie.

Anyone want their VCR programmed?

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